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9:01 AM: Due to the noise, smell and
continuing neglect I am forced to run away from home.
9:02 AM: I have decided to live in
Acorn Avenue. It’s a nice posh street and quite suitable for a
cat of my superior breeding. Goodbye Number 42 Hazel Drive. To
be honest, I don’t know why I put up with rundown Hazel Drive
for so long.
11:43 PM: I’m back home again, having
failed to find suitable alternative accommodation!
My search began at number 2 Acorn Avenue. I
discovered the back door had been left wide open. That seemed a
good sign so I immediately decided to adopt this family.
Excitedly I hurried inside to meet my new humans. There was no
one to greet me; no welcoming committee, no fanfare – how
inconsiderate! Undeterred, I helped myself to a huge bowl of
Rabbit-by-Product-with-Ascorbic-Acid-Calcium-Carbonate-Potassium-Iodide-and-Cobalt-Carbonate-in-an-Authentic-Thiamine-and-Pyridoxine-Hydrochloride-Sauce
then settled down, on a comfy armchair, and made myself at home.
What a shock I got when I spotted Killer sleeping on the other
chair. I made a very, very, very hasty (but quiet) retreat. Can
you believe it - a delinquent cat like Killer living in Acorn
Avenue?
Next I tried howling outside numbers 4
through 46 in the expectation of being welcomed in. There was
obviously nobody at home in any of these houses for the doors
remained firmly closed – except at number 38 where a sweet
looking little old lady threw a bucket of water over me.
There was a rottweiler at number 48 so I
quickly skipped through gardens 50 to 94 with the beast in hot
pursuit. Number 96, was answered by a human wearing a tight,
black t-shirt with “Death to Cats” emblazed across the front.
His bulging arms were completely covered in tattoos of snakes
and lady humans. He is obviously a mass murderer. Although he
shouted after me, “Come here cute little kitty,” I didn’t dare
stop. I certainly wasn’t volunteering to be his next victim.
I ran to my garden shed and hid, just in case
the rochwieller and the mass murderer were still searching for
me. I crawled under my worry blanket and immediately fell asleep
- I didn’t realize running away was so tiring. I snoozed for the
rest of the day then crept into my bedroom to continue hiding.
I am a fugitive, forced to go underground in
my own bedroom.
I am now even angrier with my humans, for
they don’t care that I have run away.
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