(National C.A.T. Day.)
Being C.A.T. Day it is my duty to undertake
the annual adjustment of my humans to Cat Appreciation Time.
Humans being crepuscular prefer to sleep during the night. This
is extremely inconvenient as we are nocturnal. Annual training
helps the human internal clock adjust to C.A.T.
This is my training timetable:
0:00 –2:30 AM: Played ‘attack’
with Trousers’ toes.
2:30 –2:32 AM: Demanded to get
2:32 –2:40 AM: Stood in doorway
deciding whether to bother going out.
2:40 –2:53 AM: Went out - very,
2:55 –3:10 AM: Demanded to get
3:25 –3:45 AM: Demanded to be fed
– but didn’t eat.
4:00 –4:05 AM: Demanded to get
4:12 –4:15 AM: Demanded to get
4:30 –4:45 AM: Paced the room,
moaning and crying as if in terrible pain.
Stopped when Skirt mentioned the vet.
5:00 –5:03 AM: Demanded to be fed
– gulped my food down.
5:04 –5:08 AM: Demanded to be fed
5:12 –7:00 AM: Savaged the
pillows, the duvet, Trousers and Skirt.
7:01 AM -11:55 PM: Slept soundly in the
knowledge that my duties are over for another year.